i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let's paint friendship bongs
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
