allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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