We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
