Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
