Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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