he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
