this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
