Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
