i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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