Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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