3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
