your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize