My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
