it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
