he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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