Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
