Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
