my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
