Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
