I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
