Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
