it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
