So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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