I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
