i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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