he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
