Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
