Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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