And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
