Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize