Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
