I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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