i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
