I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
His nipple licking is glorious
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