So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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