this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
