this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
