its not stalking. its research.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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