Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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