Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
