its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
tell me about the eggs
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