she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
