i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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