were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
