Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
