More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
