Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
