My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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