he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
