Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
