you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
