I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
