you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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