the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
