No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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