He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
