Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
